Notes on Antique Textiles, Folk Art & Timeless Traditions – Jaina Mishra
At 46 I am still being taught life lessons! I’d thought that as a bright human I already knew it ALL – and so I am shocked and surprised when I am taught new lessons! ( I won’t say ‘when I learn new lessons’ because being forcibly taught something does not necessarily amount to me “learning” it)
What’s worse is that the lessons come from All-eh, Ball-eh and Che – that these three people should attain guru status in my life is an affront! But this only proves the lesson that I will write about first:
Lesson # 1 : Adults have fragile egos
Here’s the story: In my early stages of passionate photography, I used to post pictures on a forum. And wait eagerly for feedback. Through self-selection, I posted only the best not wanting to be laughed at. The individuals on the forum, probably the most popular photography site, provided feedback and ratings. And so, like a little school child, I would put up the images and wait….Not for critique, but for the applause that I was so sure of! In time the ratings began to flow in. A 7 was the highest and my ratings would hover between 5 and 6. And I would shake my head knowingly…. after all – I was good, this was expected, its only natural that others recognise a star ….and such other self congratulatory statements feeding my delusion ….ad nauseum.
And then someone gave me a ‘3’ rating.
My shock could not be contained.
I searched for the person who had rated – to check out whether he knew any photography in the first place – but this turned out to be an ‘anonymous’ly given rating.
I simply couldn’t take it. The day was ruined.
I had to tell one and all about this injustice had been done to me.
So when All-eh, Balle-eh and Che arrived later, I narrated the incident. Arrogant and annoyed.
They listened and all 3 burst into guffaws. And in a simple statement they summarised what had just happened “You’ve been trolled”
a new word that had escaped webster and the nuns that taught English at my school?
trolling = going after someone and ‘destroying’ him – not viciously but in a sporting, fun and light spirit.
In their world of internet games and internet lives, trolling was commonplace. And everyone trolled everyone else.When anyone got trolled, they just shrug their shoulders, laugh it off and move on to the next thing. In their world, victims of trolling do not go into a shell. There are no shards of broken ego lying around as evidence of a trolling incident. A t least not in their world!
And so they laughed at me. And made fun of me. And of my fragile ego. And it was impossible not to face the truth they told. It was impossible to be blind to the fact that as adults egos do become too fragile. And no one is able to say anything to anyone’s face directly, without the fear of hurting another and incurring some back lash.
All-eh, Balleh and Che’s lessons helped me to turn time back and grow down …..I had obviously grown up way too much!